A family weekend

I had a really good weekend. Nothing too exciting, just spending quality time with my host family, bonding and sharing.

It's normal that you hear people attending a wedding or funeral every weekend. Last weekend I attended Oratile's friend's sister's wedding. This weekend I attended Oratile's mom's family friend/colleague's dad's funeral. About 200 people were there. It doesn't matter how distant these relationships are. As a community, it's important that people are present to show support.

The funeral was in Francistown, a 6 hour bus ride from Gaborone. The ride wasn't too bad. I was sitting in between Oratile and her mom, Ma' Matshego, spending half the time reading The Blue Sweater and half the time entertaining them with my Setswana. We stayed the night over at Oratile's cousin's house. She is a teacher at a secondary school, so is Oratile's older sister, so I got to learn about the system here a little bit. Teachers are very often transferred around the country from one school to another, regardless where their spouses work. I couldn't understand why people were okay with it. 

The funeral itself was about 3 hours long, with lots of singing, prayers, and speeches. The city counciller of Francistown was also there, and Oratile translated part of his speech for me. He urged the young people that it's vital that they take care of their parents, after witnessed many cases of children growing up, moving to the city, earning good money while leaving their parents in the village and never visited. The children would spend lots of money on expensive coffins, ceremonies, and food for guests, when their parents have really died from hunger. The city counciller reminded everyone that as stated on Botswana Vision 2016, becoming a compassionate nation doesn't only mean relationships with other nations, but also within their very own boundaries. 

Spending time with Ma' Matshego was the best. All the way she was so motherly to me, telling me not to read on the car, defending for me when I got pushed to the side by crowds. Later I found out that she was the first woman in Botswana to become a police officer. She had the position of Senior Assistant Commissioner before she retired 2 years ago. Google "Annah Matshego", you'll find her. Amazing woman, so fierce yet tender at the same time, raised 3 kids without a husband and now spends her days at her beautiful garden and sits on about a dozen community councils and boards. They joked that I'm their adopted little girl - Teboga Matshego ;)

Oratile and I continued to find many similarities between us. Only 3 years apart in age, we shared childhood stories such as eating Milo and turning them into chocolates, crying the whole day after being told our intestines will stick together or turn into a pregnant woman after swallowing a gum; our future such as how small we want our weddings to be and what a comfortable life means; discussions such as the lack of accountability, research and evaluations in most NGOs....etc. The more we chat, the more we feel that it's no longer "your values" or "my traditions". We are all the same people and share so many of the same aspirations and frustrations.

Everyday is an emotional roller coaster ride. I can go from feeling extremely happy to extremely lonely within a span of a couple hours. It also seems like I go through a little break down at the end of every week after long days of observing and listening. Fortunately my support network is always accessible and I have them to reach out to for some wisdom and love: emails from my mom & 3E, movies from my brother, daily morning calls from PB, offer to run a coaching session via Skype from Immi, and wise advice from people I respect and rely on...

"Take everyday as is without any expectations of how it "should" be like...."
"Build trust..learn from and learn WITH them..."
"Motivate one at a time..exactly like how you'd be doing it at home..."

"If you can't teach, learn. You'll find your place..."

Thank you so, so much. I owe so much to all of you, and I guess the only way I can return all the favours is in my service to others.