In the middle of it all
Everyday is a test, everyday is a new lesson. A little overwhelmed indeed. Dealing has taken up all my energy and time. Bad, bad idea – because doing is only half the experience, reflecting is the other half. I haven’t written for so long - feeling very out of shape now.
Living…
I moved out from Oratile’s house 2 weeks ago. We were the first batch of volunteers in Gaborone that had the chance to live with a host family, and for that, I’m forever grateful. How else could we have integrated into the culture so quickly and made friends in a foreign land? I definitely miss our Milo and Pick n’ Pay fries moments.
I now live with Maryam and Spojmai, also volunteers from Canada. I must admit I underestimated the power of having like-minded caring people by my side. They laugh with me, cook with me, see through me, break me down, yell at me when I’m unreasonable, hug me when I’m weak, teach me important lessons, and push me to become the person I want to be. We didn’t always get along, but everyday we are here for each other, everyday we love each other for who we are. Being here with them is one of the best things that could’ve happened to me. Sometimes I wonder how I came to be so lucky in life.
We also met some volunteers who were here and I cannot say their contributions have always been positive. Sometimes I couldn’t understand why they were here in the first place. But Maryam insisted that we shall not judge. We are here for the people, be it the Batswana or whomever. Maybe people need to find their worth, maybe people want to feel a sense of belonging, maybe people need to feel appreciated. Everyone has a story behind them.
We have not been sick at all. On the contrary, all of us have been eating and gaining weight like crazy. Perhaps it’s one of our many coping mechanisms. The harassing is still very annoying and upsetting – on my way home, at NGO events, oh and by a cop. Although it is a little better now that I don’t need to take the kombi anymore. No more “Emahoo Stoppel” (that’s how we stop the mini-buses) and cracking people up.
gotta love having an older sister like Oratile (and the brother-in-law Nico)
cooking & eating have become our way to cope, stay sane and wind down
kids at "Journey of Life" workshop; sharing dreams and being taught what it takes to reach their dreams
Living…
I moved out from Oratile’s house 2 weeks ago. We were the first batch of volunteers in Gaborone that had the chance to live with a host family, and for that, I’m forever grateful. How else could we have integrated into the culture so quickly and made friends in a foreign land? I definitely miss our Milo and Pick n’ Pay fries moments.
I now live with Maryam and Spojmai, also volunteers from Canada. I must admit I underestimated the power of having like-minded caring people by my side. They laugh with me, cook with me, see through me, break me down, yell at me when I’m unreasonable, hug me when I’m weak, teach me important lessons, and push me to become the person I want to be. We didn’t always get along, but everyday we are here for each other, everyday we love each other for who we are. Being here with them is one of the best things that could’ve happened to me. Sometimes I wonder how I came to be so lucky in life.
We also met some volunteers who were here and I cannot say their contributions have always been positive. Sometimes I couldn’t understand why they were here in the first place. But Maryam insisted that we shall not judge. We are here for the people, be it the Batswana or whomever. Maybe people need to find their worth, maybe people want to feel a sense of belonging, maybe people need to feel appreciated. Everyone has a story behind them.
We have not been sick at all. On the contrary, all of us have been eating and gaining weight like crazy. Perhaps it’s one of our many coping mechanisms. The harassing is still very annoying and upsetting – on my way home, at NGO events, oh and by a cop. Although it is a little better now that I don’t need to take the kombi anymore. No more “Emahoo Stoppel” (that’s how we stop the mini-buses) and cracking people up.
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Working…
Work is fine, making progress, slowly. I’ve setup a framework for an activity calendar, now waiting for the other environmental officers to fill in their parts. I have drafted a new volunteer description for next term, now waiting for our director to approve it. I want to print educational material, now waiting on cheques for donor funds that were approved since March. Notice a pattern here? It’s a lot of waiting. You wait this week, you wait one more week, and then you wait some more.
You see, NGOs here rely 100% on donors - nationally, regionally or internationally. Spojmai wrote in one of her emails back home, “Working with an NGO here in Africa is making me doubt the saying ‘Money is not everything.’” When an organization is completely dependent on someone else, of course money is everything, of course you have to wait forever, of course results matter more than understanding (via Kristina’s blog).
This is why I really want to support Y Care. I don’t think my previous post about the Y Care walk did the organization justice. Yes, Y Care is still a charity fund, it’s still using a handout approach, but at least it’s mobilizing local resources. Plus, I see a lot of potential in them helping to train young leaders, build capacity, foster collaboration, and transform NGOs into self-sustainable organizations. Other than diamonds and HIV/AIDs, a lot more can happen in Botswana. I was at a "Journey of Life" workshop with Holy Cross Hospice last Saturday. These kids have big dreams. People in this country need to believe in themselves more.
Ending on a more positive note, I had my midterm review meeting with the WUSC coordinator and our director, both of them seemed very happy with the progress and contributions I’ve made. It’s always nice to get some reassurance and validation, especially at a time when I’m doubting a lot – in my ability, in my approach, in my contribution. I don't want to do the work for the people, I want to do it with them.
Work is fine, making progress, slowly. I’ve setup a framework for an activity calendar, now waiting for the other environmental officers to fill in their parts. I have drafted a new volunteer description for next term, now waiting for our director to approve it. I want to print educational material, now waiting on cheques for donor funds that were approved since March. Notice a pattern here? It’s a lot of waiting. You wait this week, you wait one more week, and then you wait some more.
You see, NGOs here rely 100% on donors - nationally, regionally or internationally. Spojmai wrote in one of her emails back home, “Working with an NGO here in Africa is making me doubt the saying ‘Money is not everything.’” When an organization is completely dependent on someone else, of course money is everything, of course you have to wait forever, of course results matter more than understanding (via Kristina’s blog).
This is why I really want to support Y Care. I don’t think my previous post about the Y Care walk did the organization justice. Yes, Y Care is still a charity fund, it’s still using a handout approach, but at least it’s mobilizing local resources. Plus, I see a lot of potential in them helping to train young leaders, build capacity, foster collaboration, and transform NGOs into self-sustainable organizations. Other than diamonds and HIV/AIDs, a lot more can happen in Botswana. I was at a "Journey of Life" workshop with Holy Cross Hospice last Saturday. These kids have big dreams. People in this country need to believe in themselves more.
Ending on a more positive note, I had my midterm review meeting with the WUSC coordinator and our director, both of them seemed very happy with the progress and contributions I’ve made. It’s always nice to get some reassurance and validation, especially at a time when I’m doubting a lot – in my ability, in my approach, in my contribution. I don't want to do the work for the people, I want to do it with them.
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Labels: Botswana, Reflection, Somarelang Tikologo
posted by Ruby Ku at
8:01 AM
5 Comments:
Hey! So glad to see that you wrote on your blog. I haven't really updated mine in a really long time, but I still do, sometimes. Can't wait till you come back and tell me things in person! Miss having lunch and bubble tea with Fion. I am still trying hard in school. I'm going to the working centre to volunteer for the first time tomorrow and I already met my shadowee twice already. She's a girl from France, very interesting. I feel so happy that I'm doing so much this term, feel like I'm actually contributing something. But at the same time, I'm still frustrated over some things, but it's ok, I'll still trying just doing what I'm doing. Oh yea! I'm taking Japanese, even though I still suck at it, I'm trying hard. I can read and write the characters, and make sentences now. Hope I'll learn more.
Ruby (:
I can understand alot of the ups and downs of this post. The ups of having a roommate with you that sees you through everything. Kathleen is definitely a great help and I know my experience would be different/difficult without her. I tell her everyday that I'm so glad she's here.
I also am beginning to understand the downs of waiting and the dependency on donors. In my head I question "How? Why?" but I know unless I provide solutions or an alternative for sustainable income, the only answer I'll get is "This is how it is."
You're doing SO much :D I'm so proud of you. Be strong. They need you and the work you're doing.
Hi Ruby!
It good that you're hanging in there. It can be a little hard deal with a lot of other people who also desire to make a difference sometimes. Especially if you have slightly different ideas.
You say that you want to work with the people as opposed to do work for people. I have the same feeling you do as I want to work with people to help them. Although I don't do it as much as I want to. I still have something I need to do before that.
Keep going Ruby.
Hey Ruby! I'm proud of what you've achieved so far in Bostwana. Just be patient because someday your hard work will pay off. I understand your agony, but nothing is more powerful than your strong will and persistency.
Love and Support from half a globe away =)
hi
I accidently ran into your blog while looking for something about bots, I am from bots and studying in Canada and must say what you did was realy awesome.I am sure it was realy aprciated.,.,thanx a bunch., I must say though some of the stuff you say sort of brought me clsoer to home like being harrased by guys on the streets.,.lol annoying rite? or some stranger coming up to you asking to get your number or telling you they like you when they see you for the first time.,.crazie as it is sometimes i sort of miss it.,
and oh the pick n pay fries man i miss those.,,
the waiting and waiting for stuff to hapen,so true i have noticed things here kind happen a lot faster, maybe someday it will be like that back home as well.,
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