It’s kind of difficult sometimes
As I share my experiences in Botswana with people back home, slowly I’m able to articulate my lessons learned and challenges faced much better. I’d have to say the ones that had the biggest impact on me were the following:
1) I’ll be honest - Working with other volunteers hasn't been the easiest. Working with so many volunteers who all have different idealism was even more difficult. I normally consider myself a good team player. I offer my two cents, and I listen to others’ point of view. I am willing to collaborate and compromise at times so we are doing what is best for the situation. In a school or work setting, it’s usually quite easy to resolve as the measure of success is standardized. A high grade or profit indicates level of success and as long as the end results are the same, the process of getting there matter less. On the other hand, iit's very different when you’re working in the development field. You deal with some of the most passionate and determined people around. Also, how you go about doing certain things matter a lot - things like what you teach people and how you interact with them. At times I’m really mad at myself for not being able to work with them better, because I can only begin to imagine how valuable it will be to have such diverse people working together. I don't even know if what I just said made any sense.
2) From reading the Pedagogy of the Oppressed, we learned the importance of learning with people instead of imposing our own ideas onto them. We also learned that our role is to facilitate discussions so that they come up with their own questions and answers. At the same time, changes happen very, very, extremely slow. For those of us who are used to the North American pace of doing things, we need to jam pack our schedule and at the end of the day need to have a list of to-do’s ticked off in order to feel like we had a productive day. Sometimes it’s tempting to just complete a lot of the tasks myself, but I know that isn't necessarily the best method of dealing with the situation. By the end of the term, I was left feeling like I have not done anything, which is how I SHOULD feel, because true leadership is that when a goal is reached, people walk away proudly saying that they’ve done it themselves. But the world around us is all about results and metrics. Difference made is being quantified. How should I deal with that internal struggle? How do I response when people ask, “So, what did you do in Botswana?”
3) Before I left for the summer, I meant to video document the work that other volunteers and I will be doing. Video blogging is a great way for telling stories that needs to be told. But once I started working, I soon realized the challenges that many development workers have to face – there is simply no time. As much as actions and reflections reinforce each other and both are equally important, sometimes it’s simply impossible to have the time and energy to be working in the field & writing/reflecting/documenting all at the same time. Another thing is that people don’t want to be recorded. You don’t want people to get offended. You don’t want to reveal people’s vulnerabilities. But at the same time, those are the stories that should be and need to be shared. The level of trust and understanding that need to be built is beyond my imagination...
4) It is so easy to go home at the end of the day and just feel like you want to cry because you realize how much there is that still needs to be done. You’re then left wondering whether all the effort that you have put in was worth it, left wondering what difference that has made, and whether that little of you have done would ever, ever matter. But we often fail to recognize and celebrate the small achievements and differences that we make everyday. It’s so important for keeping our sanity...but it's really easier said than done.
Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. What is difficult to me may not be to someone else. But it is what it is, and I tried my best to face them and took every challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow. I can't say I have a solution and answers to all my own questions, but I promised to be raw and honest, so here they are.
1) I’ll be honest - Working with other volunteers hasn't been the easiest. Working with so many volunteers who all have different idealism was even more difficult. I normally consider myself a good team player. I offer my two cents, and I listen to others’ point of view. I am willing to collaborate and compromise at times so we are doing what is best for the situation. In a school or work setting, it’s usually quite easy to resolve as the measure of success is standardized. A high grade or profit indicates level of success and as long as the end results are the same, the process of getting there matter less. On the other hand, iit's very different when you’re working in the development field. You deal with some of the most passionate and determined people around. Also, how you go about doing certain things matter a lot - things like what you teach people and how you interact with them. At times I’m really mad at myself for not being able to work with them better, because I can only begin to imagine how valuable it will be to have such diverse people working together. I don't even know if what I just said made any sense.
2) From reading the Pedagogy of the Oppressed, we learned the importance of learning with people instead of imposing our own ideas onto them. We also learned that our role is to facilitate discussions so that they come up with their own questions and answers. At the same time, changes happen very, very, extremely slow. For those of us who are used to the North American pace of doing things, we need to jam pack our schedule and at the end of the day need to have a list of to-do’s ticked off in order to feel like we had a productive day. Sometimes it’s tempting to just complete a lot of the tasks myself, but I know that isn't necessarily the best method of dealing with the situation. By the end of the term, I was left feeling like I have not done anything, which is how I SHOULD feel, because true leadership is that when a goal is reached, people walk away proudly saying that they’ve done it themselves. But the world around us is all about results and metrics. Difference made is being quantified. How should I deal with that internal struggle? How do I response when people ask, “So, what did you do in Botswana?”
3) Before I left for the summer, I meant to video document the work that other volunteers and I will be doing. Video blogging is a great way for telling stories that needs to be told. But once I started working, I soon realized the challenges that many development workers have to face – there is simply no time. As much as actions and reflections reinforce each other and both are equally important, sometimes it’s simply impossible to have the time and energy to be working in the field & writing/reflecting/documenting all at the same time. Another thing is that people don’t want to be recorded. You don’t want people to get offended. You don’t want to reveal people’s vulnerabilities. But at the same time, those are the stories that should be and need to be shared. The level of trust and understanding that need to be built is beyond my imagination...
4) It is so easy to go home at the end of the day and just feel like you want to cry because you realize how much there is that still needs to be done. You’re then left wondering whether all the effort that you have put in was worth it, left wondering what difference that has made, and whether that little of you have done would ever, ever matter. But we often fail to recognize and celebrate the small achievements and differences that we make everyday. It’s so important for keeping our sanity...but it's really easier said than done.
Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. What is difficult to me may not be to someone else. But it is what it is, and I tried my best to face them and took every challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow. I can't say I have a solution and answers to all my own questions, but I promised to be raw and honest, so here they are.
Labels: Botswana, Reflection
posted by Ruby Ku at
7:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home