Life after Beyond Borders

This is another guest post I've written for Akhila's blog "Justice for All" as part of her "Be the Change" series.

I’m going to break the news: I now work in the corporate world.

I guess with all the posts I’ve written on my blog, it is understandable for one to assume I would look for a job in the non-profit sector after graduation and go “save the world”.

Look, this is where it gets tricky. I would love to work with like-minded individuals on community projects directly, but at the same time there is a big pool of untapped Gen Y talent out there that I feel the world could benefit from. The main reason why I haven’t blogged in awhile is that the ones who read my blog are also extremely passionate and, for the most part, agree with what I have to say. Trust me, it feels really good to have people comment, “Ruby, you’re so right. I too feel the same way and I’m so glad you wrote this…etc.” But what’s the point of preaching to the choir that already cares? I know I need to be doing more.

This is why I ventured out to the “dark side”, so that I can stand up to people who challenge my idealism, bridge the gap between for-profit and non-profit, explore market-based development solutions through enterprise, understand the impact of social capital, design human-centric systems that are resilient and responsible, and at the same time acquire the practical skills needed to truly effect change.

I believe all of us do care about one another and the world, but not all of us have an outlet to translate that into real actions. Muhammad Yunus said in his book, “Many young people today feel frustrated because they cannot recognize any worthy challenge that excites them within the present capitalist system. When you have grown up with ready access to the consumer goods of the world, earning a lot of money isn’t a particularly inspiring goal.” I see myself as that point of contact, for those who want to be involved but are unsure how, those who wonder how they can make money and change the world at the same time, or those who just want to be pointed to the right resources to learn more.

Everyone has a different battlefield and at the moment, this is mine. I will tell you the truth – it’s sometimes hard, real hard, to get up every morning to face the world. It is uncomfortable, and I get hurt sometimes. But I am still determined to change some minds and hearts, one person at a time. Not one day when I am rich, not one day when I retire - just right now, everyday, and I will do what I can. This is me stepping up, in hopes to be joined by many others in my generation, so together we make the world a better place. I feel so restless seeing the gap between my vision and the current reality, but for now, we just got to keep going.

Appreciating All That We Have

This is a guest post I've written for Sam's blog "Life is like a Box of Chocolates" as part of her Appreciation Evolution.

Before I begin, I would like to extend my appreciation to Sam for inviting me to be a part of the Appreciation Revolution. Thank you for not forgetting me even after I have disappeared from the blogosphere for months.

As I write this, I’m sitting on an Air Canada flight, 30, 000 feet above the ground, four more hours until I return home. Working in Botswana this summer has been an emotional roller-coaster ride for me – challenging, humbling and rewarding all at the same time. While I am still trying to figure out all the lessons I have taken from this experience, I want to share why, after the summer, I am even more appreciative of all that I have.

Those of us in this part of the world take a lot for granted. Really, we take a lot for granted. By that, I don’t just mean the excessive material “things” that we want. I’m talking about opportunities, self-worth, and dreams.

Since I was little, I was asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Then I was taught to set goals, work hard, believe in myself, and by doing so, I would be able to realize my dreams and achieve anything in life. An education, a career, a loving family and plenty of friends – all unquestionably occurred to me as part of life. However, people I met this summer have brought me to realize what a luxury and privilege it is to be able to think and feel that way.

During the summer, I interacted with OVC (orphan and vulnerable children) who did not seem to care about anything. Not because they were lazy, but because they were never given guidance. Unlike us, basic life skills were never taught to them. Personal development was unheard of. It was harsh to witness them living their lives without goals and dreams, without people motivating and believing in them, without knowing they are all special and could achieve great things. Nobody ever told them that.

I also met students from a refugee camp in Malawi who received scholarship to study in Canada because of their outstanding grades, determination and aspiration. At first, they excitedly told me how precious of an opportunity it was for them to receive a post-secondary education. Slowly, they revealed their worries about not being accepted in a new society and needing to flee somewhere again. They were sad about leaving their parents or siblings behind and never seeing them again. I will never forget the look on one of the student’s faces when he turned around and said, “There is nothing I can do. I need to continue my education.”

For us, opportunities are abundant and are easily accessible, such that we can afford to do things at our own time whenever we “feel like it.” We think we’re young and the world awaits us to be explored. We have elders and mentors tell us how proud they are of us. Most importantly, we don’t have to flee our own countries, not having a home we belong to, and having to pick between loved ones and our survival.

What makes us truly fortunate people is the fact that we can choose who we want to be and decide what we think is worth living for. So, take a moment to appreciate this freedom, a privilege we “won” at birth.

Service Learning Matters

Now that I’m home and had a bit of time to wind down and reflect, I am blogging a little more now to reflect on this year-long experience.

The beginning

The reason why I decided to join the Beyond Borders program and spend this summer abroad could not have been clearer. I have decided early on in my years at Waterloo that I want to contribute to the society in whatever way I can for the rest of my life. I just didn't know exactly how to go about doing that. I have been one that lived with a vision, but not a lot of actions.

Being in the Beyond Borders program gave me the chance to learn to live that vision. Whether it's fundraising, blogging, learning, teaching, being abroad, working with different people, criticizing, accepting, doing all of these have allowed me to pull all the skills and strengths I've developed over the years together in my final year at university. This is my understanding of what service-learning means.

Service-learning isn't a program or a course. It's a mindset, way of thinking. It is a process of [input + reflection + output]. We first hear or see something. Then we internalize our thoughts to try to perceive and understand. Finally we apply it to a context as we see fit, discovering ourselves and our places in the world along the way.

Some friends have questioned my decision to go on an international volunteer placement at this point in my life. They believed people should work to establish themselves first, so they have the necessary power and resources to make a bigger impact. They say to me, “If I go now, I may be helping to tutor 10 kids. If I go after I’ve become rich, I could donate a lot more money, I could build a factory so that I can hire thousands of people”. I see where they’re coming from, but I couldn’t agree with the “I’ll get to it later on in my life” mentality. Just as wealth needs time to accumulate, so does wisdom. You need to be in the middle of it all right from the beginning, in order to truly understand, to truly feel, to truly make it matter in your life.

How Service-Learning Mattered

1) Learning is frustrating. You're not frustrated, you're not learning. Trust me, it's so frustrating.
2) We cannot single-handedly right all the wrongs in the world. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Who do we think we are to go in and turn everything around? We are a part of the movement, a part of people who are not willing to accept “this is how things are” and are willing to stand up to challenge the status quo. When it reaches a tipping point, a transformation will happen.
3) Conversations are essential to create relationship and understanding
4) It helps us develop a strong heart, discover about ourselves and people around us, our true calling, who we're meant to become, and all the opportunities in the world. It puts things in context so we can define our own path for ourselves.
5) You make friends who you can depend on for life, who share the same passion, and who will understand you and support you through the things you will go through together in life. As the saying goes, "Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me, and be my friend. " - Albert Camus
7) Puts you responsible for your own education - take ownership, be curious, ask question, share, don't sit and wait for answers. "The banking system” doesn't work.
8) People will help you if you want something enough. Don't be afraid to ask for support. Believe that people do care about you
9) Volunteering overseas do sound very cool, but often our battlefields are in our very own backyard (for example: The Working Centre)
10) Giving your time and making the world a better place is not a "volunteer job" that only "nice people" do, it's an obligation of every single person. Just remember, "It's not that we can make a difference, it's that we do make a difference." - Julia Butterfly Hill

Let the future unfolds

I remember panicking on several occasions during my summer in Botswana, especially towards the end when I knew I was going to have to leave soon. I kept thinking to myself, “When will I get a chance to do this again? I just graduated, this summer was my last opportunity to go abroad like this.” For someone who has always tried to stay in school for as long as she could, finally moving onto the next stage of life is a big deal. I’m very excited about the new stage of life I will be starting. Yet, deep down I am afraid I would be stuck from now on. But then I did finally realize, if I had want to devote my life to make the world a better place, it would be my responsibility to ensure I incorporate that mission in whatever I decide to do with my life, career, money and time. If I was being true to myself, and if I want to make my life matters, “I can’t because I need to grow up and get a job” would just be another excuse. I should not be afraid of “being stuck” because I need to start working full-time, instead, I should full embrace all the opportunities that are opening up to me because I’m finally venturing into the “real world”.

As I begin the next chapter of my life, I’ve set some resolutions for myself:
1) I will make actions as important as reflections. My blog will continue to be a true reflection of my decisions and actions as I continue to focus on my battlefields and do my best.
2) I will not think the only way I can contribute is when I'm oversea just because it sounds “more important”. There are many communities back home that I can join and issues that I can learn about. I would like to learn more about our Native Canadian issues. I also want to help ensure all young people have access to information technology and experience the power of the web.
3) I will learn more about different religion as it is one of the most important aspect to understand others around the world. I also want to continue to explore the plan God has for me.

The end of every journey is also the beginning of the next... how true.

It’s kind of difficult sometimes

As I share my experiences in Botswana with people back home, slowly I’m able to articulate my lessons learned and challenges faced much better. I’d have to say the ones that had the biggest impact on me were the following:

1) I’ll be honest - Working with other volunteers hasn't been the easiest. Working with so many volunteers who all have different idealism was even more difficult. I normally consider myself a good team player. I offer my two cents, and I listen to others’ point of view. I am willing to collaborate and compromise at times so we are doing what is best for the situation. In a school or work setting, it’s usually quite easy to resolve as the measure of success is standardized. A high grade or profit indicates level of success and as long as the end results are the same, the process of getting there matter less. On the other hand, iit's very different when you’re working in the development field. You deal with some of the most passionate and determined people around. Also, how you go about doing certain things matter a lot - things like what you teach people and how you interact with them. At times I’m really mad at myself for not being able to work with them better, because I can only begin to imagine how valuable it will be to have such diverse people working together. I don't even know if what I just said made any sense.

2) From reading the Pedagogy of the Oppressed, we learned the importance of learning with people instead of imposing our own ideas onto them. We also learned that our role is to facilitate discussions so that they come up with their own questions and answers. At the same time, changes happen very, very, extremely slow. For those of us who are used to the North American pace of doing things, we need to jam pack our schedule and at the end of the day need to have a list of to-do’s ticked off in order to feel like we had a productive day. Sometimes it’s tempting to just complete a lot of the tasks myself, but I know that isn't necessarily the best method of dealing with the situation. By the end of the term, I was left feeling like I have not done anything, which is how I SHOULD feel, because true leadership is that when a goal is reached, people walk away proudly saying that they’ve done it themselves. But the world around us is all about results and metrics. Difference made is being quantified. How should I deal with that internal struggle? How do I response when people ask, “So, what did you do in Botswana?”

3) Before I left for the summer, I meant to video document the work that other volunteers and I will be doing. Video blogging is a great way for telling stories that needs to be told. But once I started working, I soon realized the challenges that many development workers have to face – there is simply no time. As much as actions and reflections reinforce each other and both are equally important, sometimes it’s simply impossible to have the time and energy to be working in the field & writing/reflecting/documenting all at the same time. Another thing is that people don’t want to be recorded. You don’t want people to get offended. You don’t want to reveal people’s vulnerabilities. But at the same time, those are the stories that should be and need to be shared. The level of trust and understanding that need to be built is beyond my imagination...

4) It is so easy to go home at the end of the day and just feel like you want to cry because you realize how much there is that still needs to be done. You’re then left wondering whether all the effort that you have put in was worth it, left wondering what difference that has made, and whether that little of you have done would ever, ever matter. But we often fail to recognize and celebrate the small achievements and differences that we make everyday. It’s so important for keeping our sanity...but it's really easier said than done.

Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. What is difficult to me may not be to someone else. But it is what it is, and I tried my best to face them and took every challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow. I can't say I have a solution and answers to all my own questions, but I promised to be raw and honest, so here they are.

Checking In + What Matted

I have been back for 3 weeks now, and Africa feels so far away already. During the last week in Botswana, I just spent time with the people that mattered to me the most. I miss them a lot, and I wish they were still in my everyday life...

me and Oratile, my host mom/sister whom

me and Olefile in front of the WUSC house

me with Zuku, Keneilwe, and Louisa at ST

After our placements ended, Matt, Maryam and I went exploring for 2 more weeks before coming home. Seeing different parts of Africa made us really appreciative of how intimately we got to know Botswana. Matt summarized our trip itinerary on his blog, and here...photos speak a thousands words :)

PART I - VICTORIA FALLS: Bungi-jumping + River-rafting





PART II - MALAWI: Field visit to Refugee camp and Water Sanitation project





PART III - Waterloo in Africa, meeting up with Kristina who was volunteering in Malawi this summer, and Fatema, who is an international student from Tanzania and currently studies in Waterloo





Oh..I miss Africa :(